scared

i am a coward right now
i like this guy but absolutely do not have the "lady balls" to do anything about it
so my friends tease me about it because i like someone in a non carnal way and he is very nice, a little to old but nice
so now i wait for a mediator friend to ask if he likes me
considering he takes every spare moment to stare at me, i'm thinking its a yes
so lets commence the waiting

mom

     There once was a mother who cared more about her daughters teeth being brushed, face bring washed and her grades being good. Yes, that is my mother. Stalks me on face book and twitter…the only thing I have that she doesn’t know about is this; my one space in the world where I can say whatever I want without her breathing down my neck. Everyone needs space and I do not think she understands that at all. She cares more about my physical appearance health, than my actual physical health, and mental health. I could cut my arms and almost die and she would not know, if she did she would not investigate why or seek help. She would most likely be mad or scold me and watch me and nag me more.

     My dad did not even believe me when I told him that she cried when we bought a homecoming dress, thus why I bought this years without her. That and she, makes me dress more conservative than a nun and I already dress modestly. I rarely show skin and I always wear a size or two larger than I am, especially at school. So my point is she needs to leave me alone and let me live my life and have a life. Or I promise I will not come home after high school.

guys who don't get it

There is this guy…

I know that sounds like I’m starting a romantic comedy but it is soooo not

The first time I can remember him in my acquaintance I see my group of friends hanging out and he is calling me a freshmen and semi out casting me. Not a bright note…

Then I remember me being single and being loose friends with this person. Then I remember me saying no to the Holy Grail (justly named because you think he is amazing until you see the hollow empty inside) then next year I said yes to the guy, to shut him up cuz he kept asking. Bad idea…

Then two weeks later its null and I thought that was the end of it with a little bit of awkwardness. But no then he joins choir so I always have a class with him. The subject comes up a lot…

Then I say yes the Holy Grail guy and become friends with this guy. all is good except I notice that I get attention from this guy, then Holy Grail guy tells me that all the while this guy still likes me and that he dated me anyway. Oh they are neighbors and good friends ….yay…ugh

Holy Grail dumps me even though it should be other way around

So this past summer this guy and I nicely text, and we go to see one movie as friends…Apparently not…

Later on he asks me out and I say no, and to homecoming and I say no again…not getting the picture

This past month I did some late night teasing texts just kidding around and then days later he bursts out that he passionately loves me and lists all like 7paged text of all the reasons why.And even after I say no, he still posts on face book “So worried about her that i can't sleep, i'ma wait til she wakes up saying im ok...” and others like that

So what I’m opening up is that I do not want to hurt him, I just hope that he will get over me. Cuz I can’t take it anymore knowing that the guys who spend all of their time thinking of me are not the ones I want doing that.

breath

breath

sometimes take a moment to be alone

maybe a bath is silence, with calming background music, light or dark

or maybe sit outside….only in quiet wilderness of some sort or go on a walk

and during this relaxing time …do not think about all the things you must do but instead think of yourself, how you are feeling and how serene and calm and at peace you feel

remember to be 100% comfortable and take slow calming breaths

all this can be the difference between a completely stressed person and a person who can be stressed but somehow keep an air of sanity

not good enough

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Eleanor Roosevelt

This quote is very true, people will try. Some just say look ahead and be the better person, others just ignore it. I say beat them. The people belittling you only do it to make themselves feel better about themselves, or they do it because they envy or feel threatened by you. In that case, the thing to do is just do your best then out shine them. However never let the words they say ever get to you or in your head, because they will stay and haunt you. Just use it as a reason to do even better, never as a put down because if you let it bother you…it will. Remember you are the better person and to never sink to their level of emotional immaturity.

advice

I doubt that anyone will even read this, or even take the time to read the title but yet I write with the sheer hope that my words will come in handy to someone.
this one is for any woman or girl with this sort of problem with dun dun dun...guys.
If you like a guy or flirting with one or even the most dangerous have a crush on one and he some how has no clue.
If you like a guy... he is just perfect or just so cute or hot or so sexy that when it rains it seems to evaporate off of him ... and you realy like him but a lass he hasn't asked you or you don't have the courage but more often then not you do not know if he likes you back. This crucial bit of information is the difference between a awesome relationship or an extremely embarrassing moment for you.
Some guys will never get the hints that you have been laying in front of them, and if so if that's the case get a friend guy or girl to drop a hint and then maybe then he will finally put one and two together.
If you have no idea if he is just idly flirting or just doesn't care about you, then ask one of his close friends for the 411. That is just about the best bet unless you are not bashful and just bluntly ask yourself but hey it gets the job done.
And last the worst and the saddest, if you have confirmed his affection but you haven't herd a word of date or hint of relationship... He is nervous, scared, shy, and has not even the first clue what or how or when to ask you. Or you have one of the planning romantic type that wait forever and a day for the perfect moment to ask. If you are 100% sure he likes you and you are sick of waiting, just ask him... but be sure you are not that assertive. For the other case, try just casually going on a group date, it has a lot less pressure that a regular date.
These battle plans work, they have worked for me and my friends and they work for all ages.